My First Retreat Experience and What It Taught Me

My first yoga training sort of felt like a retreat, it was a month long experience in Africa. The practices that we did and the connections that I made transformed me as a person. Being immersed in a culture that I honestly didn’t know much about, made me have a greater perspective of the richness of life around the world. I learned so much and grew so much. I expected yoga retreats to be similar. So for my first retreat, I went to Costa Rica, and I had been looking forward to it so much. Craving that sense of community, curiosity for culture and growth I had experienced in Africa. I was invited to teach a few yoga classes as part of a discounted rate for the retreat. I was ecstatic. I thought that it would have a similar flavor that my teacher training had in it, where we uncovered deeper layers of ourselves, had an immersive experience with the culture, and I would leave feeling blissed out. I admit, there were some elements of learning new things, and connection,  however overall,  the retreat felt disjointed to me. It felt like it was a “free-for-all” and I ended up feeling lonely, displaced, and immersed in the same things I had on regular vacations. I had come to meet new people, to learn deeper healing techniques and to learn about a new culture, I left feeling fragmented.

     The retreat started out on the wrong foot from the moment I started traveling. I had gotten sick on the airplane on the flight from Los Angeles, California to Costa Rica. I arrived late due to delayed flights, and got extremely motion sick on the 2.5 hour dirt road bus ride we took from the airport to the resort. Once I made it to the resort, I was happy to see the leaders, but felt horrible and wanted to just go to bed. I felt okay with that because I wasn’t supposed to teach the next morning, however, when I arrived at 8pm I was asked to change my schedule to teach the next day. I explained to them that I had been throwing up on the plane ride, the whole bus ride, and the driver had to pull over numerous times which had delayed our group. The people on the bus, particularly this lovely woman, Rebecca, and her daughter, Doris, were so kind to me, comforting me on the journey. I was dumbfounded that my “Leaders” couldn’t see how sick I was even after sharing how I felt and still asked me to teach the 7am practice. I ended up doing it, but it took me a full day to recover. I had felt so unseen, in a place where I thought I would be seen, by the people who I looked up to and why I had joined the retreat.

 I also had made the mistake of thinking that the one Leader, who I knew from class, as a fellow student, would have time to “hang out” with me during the retreat. A lot of the people had already met one another in years past, brought their friends, and had gone on many retreats together, so there was a level of a wall to overcome to try to “fit in”. My roommates were very sweet and I appreciated the placement I had with them. We would go to class together, check in on one another and sometimes eat together. My acquaintance style friend from home, Scott, was on the same retreat, and we ended up becoming closer as friends and even decided to stay after the retreat, to explore Arenal, the beautiful volcano in the middle of the country.

I tried surfing for the first time since 2014 and I fell in love, even though I could barely stand on the board, any excuse to be in the ocean was perfect for me. The trip after the retreat, ended up saving me, because during the retreat I contracted a whooping cough, and the only thing that helped was local honey, and some all natural supplements that my roommates got for me while I laid in bed.

      This experience probably isn’t what you would expect for someone who started a retreat business themselves, but this is one of the reasons why I started one. It became the fuel behind my passionate fire to make retreats about those joining, and the culture we were staying in. I wanted to create a safe space for people to heal, grow, and explore.  In my retreats, its a goal to ensure that people feel like they belong, that they have an “aha” moment, and that they have a cultural experience like they have never had before. I know what it’s like first hand to go on a retreat and have a bad time, whether it was from the delay in travel, the motion sickness, feeling left out or the actual illness.  I feel like I went through it all on that first retreat and now am hyper aware of what others could endure from their experience and try my hardest to make everyone feel welcomed, taken care of and enjoy their experience. I am grateful for that experience now, because I learned so much about how I could make people feel more connected and prepared prior to going on a retreat. Each retreat that I offer has some unique element to it, from getting picked up on boats and dropped off on a beach, cooking classes led by locals, native shamans offering ceremonies and education on mindfulness while taking home new tools to heal. They also come with lots of information before the retreat, so you can know what to expect and prepare yourself. I have gone on other retreats since that first one, and I make sure that I go out of my way to make friends, take care of those who need it, boost my immunity before I go and am really selective on what type of retreat it is. I think even if I didn’t start a retreat organization, I would still be grateful for that retreat and the lessons I learned, about myself, about others and about how to be more aware of what I am booking.